This is the beginning of a life from hell that I will never wish on any living sole an this earth.  A memory that will never be forgotten. Their were no good memories to talk about even if you were’nt abused. I was told that I was a silent baby and a silent child that never talked, barely cried.  No one really asked questions because that was how it was back than. I remembered always feeling cold and never warn, empty inside, lonely, having no attachments to anyone and always feeling afraid. I felt that I did not belong to anyone and that I had to make my way the best way I could.  What happened in the house stayed in the house.  If I had to choose a word to discribe my house, it would be the house from hell, a house of evil, and a place where children should never had been raised. Then again not everyone suffered. I guest since I was the stepchild I was the chosen one to endure the worst pain ever. Bad spirits were in that house and it seem like I would be their forever.

It took me until age 42 to realize that the only person that I had to answer to was God. I never disrespected my elderly, nor the women that gave birth to me. Inspite of the hate she had for me, I still loved her, I thought I owed her my life, and the mistake of her having me. I did not ask to be born. I guest she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She said she was raped. She was 16 years old. Not by a family memeber, but by someone whom she had a crush on. And she knew he was married. 

 I have taught my children to always love thy neighbor and thy self because that is what God wants us to do. And I have taught them that they don’t have secrets with a stranger; and should anyone touch any body parts, they are to tell me immediately. Children don’t learn to lie not unless they are taught.  There is so much evil in this world but God wants us to live our lifes by learning to love ourselfs first so that we can learn to love others.

In order for me to continue to love and not hate the person who give birth to me, is to stay out of her way and not allow my children to be subjected to this same type of abuse that I lived with for 17 years of my life. I believe children should be happy, health, treated with love and affection and in a loving environment. 

I know that God gave his only son Jesus to give us all life.  I know that I was given this life to make a differences in other peoples lifes to help them, love them and to show them what the true meaning of caring is all about. I have been a foster mom and adopted mom of 16 years.  I am glad that I was able to make a difference in my children’s lifes this far.  I would not change a thing about my love and compasion for loving children. There is not enough money in the world for anyone to do what I have done in caring for my children.  My children are my blessings because I was not a blessing to the woman that give birth to me.

This message is to any and everyone who may want to become a parent, foster parent, adopted parent and etc.  Care for children because you have a heart, because this is your calling and because you want to make a difference in that childs life.  Don’t ever put a price tag on a child’s body because your blessing will never be counted.

These children are my angels.

Here is my story.