Rick was the first man I was involved with. We were both very, very young when we met and I really had no clue as to how a relationship should work.

So, there were things that I put up with and that I did in my callous youth that I just would never repeat again. But, I never felt that when you break up with a relationship……I’ve always felt you need to hold that person close. I can’t imagine how you would love someone and then just stop loving them.

So, Rick and I have always remained close friends.

Then after Rick I met Doug who his just an extraordinary person. Very, very sweet. Doug’s been through a lot of change and he saw computers coming in the late 80s and decided that he wanted to avoid being a computer person doing graphic arts. He had always wanted to be in some sort of military setting so he decided he’d become a highway patrol officer for California so that’s what he did.
Unfortunately, a couple years after he started he found out that he was HIV positive which back then in the early 90s wasn’t as easy to deal with, so he went through quite a period of illness. So, I met him just after he was coming out of that period. He was kind of nervous to tell me about his status but I had pretty much figured it out.

We just embarked on a great adventure together for the six years that we knew each other and I had just the best time of my life. When he died you wonder if certain things in your life – if there are certain things in your life that were just stupid. The worst thing that could ever happen and then it happened and then you realize that it’s not. There’s a reason for it.

We went through a lot in that experience. It was an incredible experience, and after he was gone I thought that’s pretty darn cool. I had that wrong that, you know - I felt pretty satisfied, you know, I thought you’d be crazy to not want that experience again to feel that way again. But, at the same time you don’t want to try to capture, you know ____ (inaudible) again, and it struck again for me.

Six years later I met Xavier whom I am with now. Again, there’s just this total level of confidence and ease and that is for me the hallmark of a good relationship. That’s my sort of hallmark in a relationship that I can not feel any regret and feel that I can say anything. That’s what I learned from my first relationship with Rick. We would both acknowledge that now. We learned what not to do (Laughs).

So, you know, we’re – like I say, if things were to end tomorrow with Xavier I couldn’t regret any of it because I’ve been happy. I said that to Doug at the same time. If something were to happen to you and you needed to leave tomorrow, you know, as long as you are honest with me that’s all I ask. I am very lucky.

Xavier and I have exchanged marriage vows. Yes, we have! We picked out our rings in Mexico City last March. So, we haven’t done it in a formal ceremony, we’ve just done it to each other.