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                                           Cards...

                              Life is a card game

                            A poker face goes far.

               And 4 of a kind is often hard to beat.

                  Last nite I played my wild card

                And bet my heart on a one eyed Jack.

          But duces were wild and all I had were threes.

                     So I bluffed.... and you called it.

                            Now I play solitare.

     Takes one deck of cards and it’s not such a gamble.

                                Deb Jones Miller 75                                  

 In my quest to become popular there will be few proud moments...In the past any kid in school who was brave enough to become "the new kids friend " I would be  filled with gratitude and a whole hearted  friendship.  Now that my goal was so changed from mine in the past I had no idea what to do.  I still was not crazy enough to think calling attention to myself was the way to go...after all I had not suddenly evolved into some beauty queen or anything!  But as I look around my classmates for clues of how to move toward popularity I could clearly see a subtle pattern among the girls  ...if I had patience all I had to do was sidle up to the 2nd most popular girl when she and her friend are fighting  and I would be in.  My plan worked beyond my wildest dreams!!  It happened way to fast and I lost the last friends who would ever have to be brave to claim me as a friend!!! 

The last thing I would have ever called myself as a child was brave.  I was afraid of so many things some real and some imagined.  I was afraid of neighborhood bullies, climbing in trees any sport that I was bad at like softball.  When you spend as much time and energy as I had avoiding the spotlight you miss alot of normal ups and downs of being a kid.  I am proud that I knew as young as 5th grade that I had to stop being so prepared to fail all the time.   

 We moved to Faribault in a dramatic fashion since it was newyears eve and there was a blizzard so our house was with out power.  So we spent our first night in a hotel.  The Homes we owned in Faribault were the favorite of our entire family.  The first home was on a street called Home Place.  It was a tri level design and had a very large entry way and wonderful doorbell that sounded like chimes when they rang.  The laundry room was on the entry way level and 1/2 bath.   Up a few steps was the main floor had living room  with a lovely fireplace and our first formal diningroom.  There was a small kitchen and a screened in porch off the back of the house.  Upstairs there were 4 bedrooms my parents room was hugh and each of the boys had their own rooms for the first time.  In the basement was  a big rec-room with a built in bar and sheves to put your tv on.  As a kid I always just loved all the steps to run up and down and the cool look of the rod  iron rails and balcony.  This house was the location of many practical jokes since my brothers room had a window right over the front door so we all put that to use often dropping waterballoons, eggs, icewater...whatever you could grab quick! 

 

                                                                  OUR FAVORITE NEIGHBORHOOD

This was we all agreed our favorite neighborhood growing up.  We were just down the street from Jefferson gradeschool  and I would do my last 2 yrs of gradeschool there and later grab a bus to junior high.  We would live in this house until I was in 8th grade  We as kids just loved the big yards with no fences. Unlike some of our previous neighborhoods this place was full of mature trees so we did alot less hanging out in our garages. We were also all older and more mobile so our neighborhood was alot larger...not just one block like befor.  Ours went for blocks and blocks and it was so fun riding our bikes down our big hill with the wind in your face.  In those days we just lived on our bikes and 10speeds were new on the market and Stingrays were everywhere and banna bars on the back.

My parents would meet some amazing new friends here that would be a part of their and our  lives for the next 40 yrs.    Walkers, Burkes, Johnsons ...just almost immediate comfort with eachother and every week was some kind of party, every summer when the guys returned from fishing  a big neighbor hood party with fish and corn of the cobb...and of course these friends had kids lots of kids so we had built in friends.

                                                   Oh the friends in this neighborhood!!!

 

 

I would have the misfortune of moving into the girl bully of the neighborhood  old friends house so she held me responsible for that by beating me up on a daily basis..and the boy she liked Mike Guthmiller liked me so I really deserved it!!!!My best girl friend lived across the street was named Becky Bartness she had all sisters and her dad owned a small printing shop. 

My sister whom we called Jeff cuz she was such a tom-boy was in 3rd grade when we moved would meet  her best friend Nancy  who would be with her throughout her life.  I was always a bit amazed at their friendship as they would meet so young and end up spending way more time apart than together thru their lives.  But Jeff was like my borther Dave in that they both needed few friends as long as they had that best friend to rely on...and it was not like she was’nt popular. She would have  many amazing friendships through the years but if you were to ask anyone who her best friend was they always knew who it was. I truely admire that kind of loyalty and consistancy especially  giiven the kind of childhood we had.  Anyway through out our lives for good or bad news my sisters first call was to Nancy...they had almost a sisterly bond a bond  that both Jeff and I wished we had ourselves.

Dave was in 7th grade when we moved and    this was a hard move for Dave for some reason...He took the longest to adjust but in this neighborhood he would meet some wild new buddiies that would have the neighbors bitching about anything bad in the neighborhood from eggings, toilet papering or the occasional pipe bomb going off.  Dave and the Kulman brothers would have some  legendary great times some stories we know and I am guessing many we don’t.  By the time we left this neighborhood Dave will have been to Juvenile court many times and be on a first name basis with a very cruel vice prinpal in his jr high.  When it comes right down to it if there were awards for being a black sheep my brother would have gotten one.  I have to admit I admired my brother Daves guts in those days much more than my brother steve  who did everything right!!  Hey it was the 70’s and everyone was anti establishment....so guys like Dave were everywhere and goody goody guys like Steve were acutally on the verge of being very uncool.

Steve was in 9 th grade and  he was very busy with sports,  football  and wrestling and doing his favorite thing hangiing out with his  friends.  Steve was like me in that I think we both took all these moves in our lives as a challenge to get through as soon as humanly possible...and like me he got very good at discarding friends when you had to and finding new ones with such sad ease. Steve would meet his friend Glarner who would get a great deal of pleasure picking on Dave and his friends.

                                                                                The Turbulent 70’s

In many ways you have to admire the speed with which our country went through all these amazing cultural and social changes...and the minimal loss of life and damage to property.   

This was the  nearly the 70"s and our country was going through many major social changes and  not in a peaceful way...riots, cities burning ,marches in many southern states...Govenors being forced to let black kids in school...forced busing almost every where.  And the very unpopular  Vietnam war was going on and 18 yr old boys were drafted right up until the year my oldest brother would have gone.  This war was what we fought most about in our house...we were all so scared for my brother Steve as the war just went on and on no.  It seemed no matter how many peace marches and pleas  by the american public to get out of a war our country had no reason to be in the Presidents first Kennedy,  Johnson and then Nixon just went on and on.  In those days you could get out of being drafted by being in college, or by being a senators son or by going to Canada like many men did to avoid the draft.  If you chose Canada you better really be serious cuz it was a crime and you could not come back....this was the crux of our argument about Steve.  All the women in our family wanted steve to go to Canada and Dad and Dave felt he should go to war...Steve being Steve would have done the right thing and in this case go to war...  Almost everyone of my siblings had friends who brothers who went 1 died that we knew of my uncle Bill Cutts would go and my mom had us pray every night for his safe return.  In fact my cousin Chris was born while his father was still in Vietnam.

With all the turmoil of the decade it made for some amazing music.  with more freedom the black music stars just rocketed to the top of the charts  with a new sound called motown.  Motown was created in  Michigan by the brilliant producer Quincy Jones.......  Stars like the S tevie Wonder  The Jackson 5,  Dianna Ross and the Supremes and Ray Charles . Rock and roll had the Bealte and the Rolling stones and Eric Clapton still topping the charts and  new comers like Bread , The Eagles, Journey , Carole king, Jaskson Brown , James Taylor and Kat Stevens The Who Led zepplan stix and kiss and queen.

 Back then there were many kid bands making it big the Jackson 5, The osmonds, The Partridge Family so my dad seeing a financial opportunity forced my siblings and I to get together daily to sing and practice different harmonies together.  It was very ironic because you would assume that having parents musically talented like mine that at least one of us could sing...(my dad was a soloist and my mom a tap dancer )In the end the only people that would hear us kids sing would be our familes...who were basically forced to each year at xmas!!!

The 70s were the beginning of my brothers gargage band...my brother Steve played drums and Dave played guitar. Every band covered songs like Tamberrine Man, Wipe Out and My Baby She Wrote Me a Letter.  A big gig in those days were school  dances , private club dances like Kiwanis or Eagles or private parties in our neighborhood.  I still remember how annoying it could be to be awakened on Sat. morning by the high volume guitar rifts accompanied by drums and vocals which were always off key!!!

 

In many ways the way the government ignored the pleas of nearly every american  by the time we got out of the war woke the citizens up...and caused the lowly everyday person to never trust his government...and in a way that is a good thing to keep a close watch of our government...but sad as well as growing up in those days my generation lost faith in those who were in charge.  In America we had never felt that way,   ashamed of of our own leaders and it was a scary place to be!!!

 The 70’s brought women liberation for women which was about more sports for girls and equal pay for women and an opportunity to do all kinds of work not generally done by women.  Up until then women were nurses and teachers and secretaries mosty.  This all tied into the sexual revolution that was going on whose motto was "if it feels good do it".  Abortion became legal in the 70 as well.

For me being a gradeschool girl I left one town  one yr that the only sport for girls was Jaxx...a game you sit down to play!!!  We moved just down the road to a town that had volleyball, flag football softball  and soccer...I was in heaven!!!It was so cool... I found my favorite sport football and I would come back years later  in highschool  to coach the girls teams at my old gradeschool.    It would be my first official job working for the rec. dept in Faribault.   The Faribault rec. dept.  was so ahead of it’s time with all these sports for girls   We were still forced to wear skirts or dresses to school so my first official protest was a sit in I did with my friends to be allowed to wear pants...we all got detention for doing it but the next  year the  school board approved the new  apparell code.

It probably  did not hurt that my dad was on the schoolboard at the time...

                                                            HIGH SCHOOL YEARS...

Junior High brings to mind only a few memorial moments...I like most of my girl friends had a lot of self loathing going on...I had no breasts yet and spent just an ungodly amount of my own time doing push-ups and moaning to my  poor  mother and writing non-stop in my diary!!!  When I got my breasts in I was in 9th grade ...I was so delighted it was like going from being invisible when I walked down the street to getting honks!!!It was a lot to adjust to and I let the sudden change go to my head.  I  let it affect my friendship with my best friend Brenda and I ended up ruining my relationship with my first  boy friend Bob.

Second of my big memories in Junior high was I would have my first boy girl party...It was pretty cool cuz my brother  Steve and his friend wrote a bunch of funny music with my friends names in it and they performed for us  at my party.  Up until that day no one Including  Steve knew Steve could  sing!!!From that moment on Steve was busy singing  solos at our church at funerals and all the weddings in our family and all his friends.  It’s lucky that Steve was the one in our family who could handle the pressure of having so many eyes on you...and not choke.  I know for a fact that  Dave had superior talents in music ...he was a fantastic guitar player and wrote many of his own songs and he had a great voice but never believed he did.  That was my brothers in a  nut shell Steve was the guy who was sure he was better than he really was ...Dave modest to a fault.    

The last of my memories of Junior High School was how amazing our gym teachers were .  Every Phy-ed teacher we ever had growing up was either some old guy or worse some smelly old woman!!!So we were shocked and pleased to have young wonderful women who we all instantly wanted to be like...They were these four beautiful women with bodies to die for!!!In those days the last thing you cared about was pleasing your teacher but with the addition of the four amazingly fit young women we all would walk through fire for them.    They were 4 brand new teachers who were  full of energy and skills that we had never seen like Gymnastics and distance running.  These women developed a show that profiled modern gymnastics.   Our show was just amazing and we preformed   all over the state even at three consecutive Boys State High-School Basketball Championship for half time entertainment!!! Our town just fell in love with gymnastics and suddenly you had clubs all over so we could work out all year.  All my best friends were in Gymnastics Cathy who was amazing from day 1 especially on the beam and floor and Lisa,   Brenda, Ev and Jenny.  We would all be together from 7  grade on and eventually go on to compete in the First Minnesota Girls State Gymnastics Championship and place third!!!We were all very proud of doing as well as we did at state since we were up against Big Rich mpls area Schools that had clubs that compete all year!!!  

 

 In High school  I was so lucky to be graduating in 76 the 200th annv of our country.  In the 4 yrs i was in high school were the happiest of all my school yrs...I really liked going everyday and walking down the halls interacting with everyone was a blast.    The 70’s were a quirky decade for  schools ...there were so many changes going on in society and the high schools reflected the changes most..all over the country  the was busing and some violence that went with that.  the 70’s were  more open to different ways of doing things  my older brother’s class choose as their home coming queen the high school tuff girl and dope dealer we went a tad more conventional with a farm girl...the first farm girl ever!!!We also meet our first Black people as a wonderfully brave family moved there and we like minnesotans do killed with kindness.  The two sons were up for homecoming kings had dates with great girls left and right and not one grumble from anyone.  

This was the beginning of new laws that were long overdue .  My own cousin had been raped by my moms uncle as a child and nothing was ever done, many involving sexual contact with minors  and  statutory rape.  I swear I have many best friends from those days who were having sex with our teachers .  In my days as a grade schools  sports coach I would have to deal with the most disturbing issues I have dealt with my whole life.  In the very grade school that I had attended myself five of my team came to me to report something was going on with one of  the Male Teachers...In those days most authorities would not even check this out they could not fathom that some former teacher of the year could do this.  Even I hate to admit that I thought they could be making these stories up.  But I did what I as a coach was supposed to do told the Principal ...and I got reprimanded for taking these girls seriously and almost lost my coaching job.  My dad was on the school board then I know I talked to him about this and how shocked I was that it seemed like every teacher that I had been crazy about in gradeschool was in this group of predators  and their best friend was jeff’s bf nancy dad who was a major alchi and grade school princple .  I don’t remember if Dad was involved in getting these guys fired ...all I know is I know some were fired at some pt and some went to jail.  The guy my girls told me about went to jail.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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