I remember not liking this one little blonde girl. She lived on my street and we hung out together, but I don’t have strong memories of school. I have a memory of the dogs and the pets we had. I always loved animals. I always brought the strays home. I always had ringworm on my face or body. I had two dogs, and when I brought home the strays my parents would never let me keep them.

My mother always told me that I’d have to marry a veterinarian. It’s too bad they didn’t say “you could become a veterinarian.” My brother went to college, but I my parents wondered why I would ever need to go to college. You’re a girl. I wasn’t brought up with the idea that I was ever going to get more education than high school. If I wanted to I would have to pursue it myself, which I did. I did a little bit at Merced Junior College after Christian was a bit older.

In those days, few of my friends were going to college, so I thought that this was the way it was supposed to be.

The Psychedelic 60’s, and an Identity Crisis

I was a product of the 60’s and 70’s. Flower Power. Love Children. Freedom of Speech. The Vietnam War.

When I turned 18, I had to decide whether I wanted to be an American citizen or an English subject. I had to announce my citizenship because I was born in another country to an American citizen. In that case, you are automatically and American citizen, but when you turn 18, you have to declare your citizenship.

At that time I was very rebellious. This was a very un-patriotic time, unlike WWII which was very patriotic. I wanted to announce my British citizenship, and my parents wanted absolutely nothing to do with that. They freaked out. Dual citizenship wasn’t recognized in those days. So I actually still am a British subject.

When I go back to the UK to visit my family the immigration officer will say “welcome home.”

The commune? It was a trippy deal. I hated it. I hated doing everyone’s laundry and gardening. It was free love. Free love everywhere. I had some checks stolen. People were stealing clothes. It wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. It was an agricultural commune. We lived in one house and we had communal everything. I was with a guy named Sparrow. I can’t even remember his real name. He invited me to the commune.

I Was Defiant and Rebellious

It’s the 1960’s, I’m living in Atwater, and I’m going to St. Anthony’s Catholic School. Not my most popular place to go. I begged my parents not to send me there, but my father was very much the Italian Catholic. My mother was a Protestant, but she converted when she married my father. They raised us as Catholic. We had first communion and we had to go to church. I hated it. I had a bad experience with the nuns who hit me with a ruler. I was defiant, and I pushed the rules to the limits. I was in Mother Superior’s office every day.

I remember one time I was sent to Mother superior. She had a gnarly mole on the side of her nose, and it had a big hair coming out of it. As she talked, her nose moved and I would become mesmerized with this thing on her nose. I remember smells…the library, the church. Sometimes I’ll be somewhere and a scent will remind me of my Catholic days.

I’m defiant and rebellious and I didn’t take direction well. This is a terrible thing to say but I never really respected what my parents said. I never felt like they were there to guide me. I felt like they were a total hindrance trying to hold me back. They wouldn’t let me be what I wanted to be, or say what I wanted to say. I had a lot more energy than they did. I always wanted to go, go, go, play, play, and play. I was never home.

But my brother was very subdued and studious. He collected stamps and coins and I’d be running around with my girlfriends, falling out of trees. My parents always said: “why can’t you sit still like your brother?”

But it was my brother who introduced me to marijuana. He came home one day in my bedroom listening to Beatles music and he came in and showed me a joint and asked: “Do you know what this is?”

“No, what’s that?”

“It’s marijuana. Let’s smoke it.”

So we did and we laughed our guts out.

My mother came home and wondered what was going on. Why were we having so much fun when we hated one another?