One thing in particular happened when I was nine years old. My father was extremely mentally ill. He came in and out of our lives depending on whether or not he was in a mental institution.

My mother was sitting at a table with a neighbor and I was shooed out of the room. I had never been shooed out of the room before! The ladies wanted to talk, and that was a red flag.

As an adult I look back on the relationship that my mother had with this woman and I think that she was being abused by her husband.

I remember her saying that she couldn’t leave him because she had no way of supporting herself. This would have been back in the early nineteen sixties.

I found myself thinking as a young person that I would never have myself in that situation. I would always make sure that I had the ability to make money. If money was the only thing that forced her to be with and abusing husband, I would make sure that I had the independence.

I had learned that independence from my father. I had to be very independent because I was basically in a one-parent household. I had to learn how to put my chain on my bicycle and do a lot of other things myself where a dad would usually pop in.

I often went to a friend’s dad who taught me how to do it because I would show up all the time. I learned from my neighbors out to be independent. I had to be independent and they taught me some of the skills.

Also as part of ranch life during the summers, I would spend time with Uncle Art and Aunt Betty. During my elementary school years I spent three months on the farm with them. You had to be very strong, and make some real decisions.

It was hard for a young girl to take care of a cow or a chicken. There was the whole death-and-dying thing and what are we actually eating? I learned to be thankful for that. I don’t waste meat at all. I use every single bit of it, and I use it with thanks. I never take one bite of the drumstick and throw it away. That meat is always used in another means, such as a breakfast, omelet.

I bet you if I was involved with a death and dying process right now I would be eating a lot more vegetables. If it wasn’t served up on a little plate with a little absorbent pad to collect the blood… If you had taken care of a calf named Coco for a while… (Voice trails off)